“With karate I’ll kick your ass from here to Tiananmen Square!” —Tenacious D, 2001
How long would it take for you to arrive at Tiananmen Square if Jack Black used karate to kick your ass in Los Angeles?
Let’s suppose Jack Black kicks your 80 kg ass with 270 Newtons of force, which Livestrong says is the force an average football player imparts to the ball. Let’s also assume 0.05 seconds of contact between Jack Black’s foot and your ass.
f = (w*v)/t
(270 N * .05 s)/80 kg = 0.17 metres/second = 0.6 kph
That’s not very fast at all. Not even a slow walk.
How long would it take to cover the 10,000 km distance between L.A. and Beijing at that speed?
10,000 km / 0.6 kph = 16,666.7 hours
= 1.9 years
Better pack a lunch.